It wasn't until a few years ago that I realised there seems to be this widely held hatred of Ewoks. It was never really made clear to me why people claim this, other than because they were invented to sell soft toys to children, a view I touched on in this week's comic. But beyond that, I haven't really heard any other arguments. A quick Google search of 'why Ewoks suck' returns either quotes from Hurley from Lost or forum posts made by spammers who are unaware that an argument needs more than a conclusion punctuated by swear words in order to be valid.
This is only here because it makes me lol.
I'm going to start on the marketing point. Sure, maybe our fuzzy friends were drafted in to make George Lucas some money, but let's face it, he milks every aspect of the Star Wars universe for every penny he can get his force grip on. The expanded universe is a good example, continually reinventing the 'official canon' just so there's always some new games and paperback novels in the market. Even if you disagree with me on the expanded universe front, you can't deny that Ewoks aren't the only issue as far as capitalising on Star Wars is concerned.
For the record, I have nothing against the Star Wars novels or games. Rebel Assault II was awesome.
Ewok 'assault catapult' (replica). File under 'to be feared'.
Anyway, next point: Ewoks are cute. I'm aware that I lose man points upon admitting I find something cute, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice. Sure, cuteness is a matter of opinion, so maybe this point isn't a strong enough argument on its own. However, for a bunch of adorable (or not, you haters) teddy bears, they've pretty darn powerful. Brian Topp from Channel 4's Spaced puts it best:
"An entire empire brought to its knees by small, furry creatures."
Sure, Luke had Jedi powers, a lightsaber and a post-mortem Alec Guinness, but the empire would not have been defeated without the help of the Ewoks. Scout Troopers had lasers and AT-ATs, but the Ewoks foiled them with rocks and logs. The Ewoks are not Care Bears. They're freakin' hardcore. so next time you want to go slagging off Ewoks, watch out, because they will break you.
Before I sign out, I will admit that the following video gives Ewoks (or Star Wars in general, for that matter) no credit at all:
However, a monster repelled by a laser pointer does amuse me.